When we are emotionally upset or angry, we cannot be our best selves.
Is our heart racing? Is our throat tight? Do we feel like we are about to cry?
Calm yourself and find your inner loving kindness.
Identify the relationship which is causing you to be agitated and upset. Not the topic of your argument because that is of no importance. Our emotion is a reaction to an unharmonious relationship/connection to another.
Notice the resistance you feel toward that person. How they are wronging you, what negative belief about yourself are they tapping on? I am unkind? I am selfish? I am too demanding? Notice your hurt/pain. And even that part of you that feels there is some truth to what they have scratched at. Possibly, I am needy, and I am demanding and selfish.
Then substitute a good friend in your place. How would you comfort them? What would you say to them?
We are typically our own harshest critic.
We have learned to be in order to improve, learn from our mistakes and be our best. However, when our critic part becomes too dominate, it does not benefit us.
Just notice and breathe.